Wednesday, March 14, 2012

seriously, i really think i'm back...

i had some things on my my mind yesterday and completely forgot that i had this wonderful little blog world that i get to vent and other people get to read my thoughts. well all i can hope for is that you read them; that you're challenged, inspired or at the very least, you'll pray for me.

for the past month i have been settling into marriage, our home and georgetown... only i have still been driving 3 days a week back to my old job an hour and half  away where i am really not needed anymore. oh believe me, this is not sad. i knew that i didn't want to stay there... i just needed the right time to leave and the right place to go. well now we've got that... my shawn has been wonderfully encouraging towards my ambitions of going back to nursing school. this is the plan... i will be starting some pre-req classes the end of may. Woohoo!! only thing is, i am beginning to feel a little guilty about how i am "supposed" to be spending my time between now and then. it's really a waste of time, money, gas, and money for me to be coming back and forth even 3 days. but what else am i "supposed" to do until/during school that is at least contributing to ... our finances. i feel this responsibility to at least pull my own weight... which i know i'm not going to be able to do much during school... but i have 2 months before then... so, what do i do? i'm kind of at this weird cross roads of an internal battle... our culture says women are equal and we should be 100% independent; historically and biblically, the man provides for his household. God says not to be idle or stagnant. internally, i feel guilty for not making much money, yet i feel productive in many other areas, not to mention, rejuvenated and rested in my soul! i am so very thankful for this amazing month that we've been blessed to be able to have... but i am thinking it's time for me to find a different part time job closer to home that i can hopefully keep working while i am in school. so friends... can you just pray for me... not just to find a job, but the job?!!

thanks a bunch!

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