heart ramblings

for a number of reasons, we haven't quite found "community" in our new home yet. we were completely aware that it was going to take extra, extra effort on our part due to that fact that we live a ways out of town. it's actually weird... you can't even find us on GPS. on google earth, we are surrounded by trees and water. it's pretty awesome in some way, and in others.... we just knew it would take a lot of effort. in knowing this and praying for some Godfindence, i've started to see changes in myself. i have actually gotten pretty good at talking to strangers. i never really considered myself very good at small talk but i have quickly learned that small talk is pretty much non-negotiable if you want to meet new people. i don't prefer relationships to stay at a surface level very long but i'm learning the value in it for certain seasons. another cool thing is that God is not just teaching me about small talk... he's teaching me how to speak to others just for the sake of love and community. not even for my own sake. if my motivation is self-centered, then small talk just comes off as weird and awkward. but if i am fully aware that God is doing something for that other person, then all of sudden i am not worried about myself. it's pretty cool. so i've been working on this... seeing people and speaking to them out of love for them. and in that, i have managed to make a few connections that have blessed my life. seems so simple. right?

i'm understanding that we were not created to be insecure/self-focused people. we were created by LOVE for LOVE. and in LOVE, there is no fear. no fear of rejection, no fear of offense, no fear of judgement and so on... so once this idea really makes sense, we are able to go out and just LOVE people. nothing else, just LOVE. COOL!

so i have been asking the Lord how i can do this. how can i be LOVE? He said, invite people into relationship... not in a weird way, but be the one that is open and vulnerable and honest, people are blessed by relationships like that. so... where do i start? of course, with an acquaintance of my mother's. the only email address or phone number i have in the area so far. the only place i could possible start. haaa. at first i was thinking that's a little strange, but is it? why is it weird that a young woman would reach out to a older more mature woman? so i got over myself and fearful thinking and i invited her. i invited the woman and her husband for dinner tomorrow night. and i couldn't be more excited that they are coming! funny, huh?! seriously, i am SO excited to have the start of what might be or might lead to a deeper friendship. so while the Lord was dealing with me about getting over myself, He turned the blessing right back on me. that is LOVE!

also, yesterday i got over myself and made random conversation with the lady at a store and she invited me to lunch!! i have never been so excited to have lunch with a stranger!!

and in random, small talk at the local coffee shop, the girl there put me in touch with a friend of hers and i have an interview for a job tomorrow!!

i know it doesn't seem like a big deal to some of you, but it was really hard for me to go out by myself in a new town and just make conversation with people i had never even seen in my life. so hard that this was not something i was able to do at all. when we were in Georgetown, God was dealing with me on this but it was not in motion yet. i'm serious it was something i could not do. and then God showed me it wasn't about me, it's about Him. LOVE!

i am not only thankful that we have been given the blessing to live out here on this amazing portion of God's creation but i am even more excited that He is revealing more and more of Himself to me through other people!

please pray for my job interview, dinner and lunch coming up. THANKS FRIENDS!